Fingerprints...

The first week of every month (give or take a few days) is window and mirror cleaning week.  Today after shining our over-sized mirror in the living room I took a step back to admire my work and felt a sudden pang of sadness.

I read something earlier today about holding your child's hand as long as possible, or as much as possible, so that they know you're there for them.  I got teary eyed as the author described perfectly the sensations that you feel with that first finger squeeze.  And how as your baby grows their little hands become more under their control, and less instinctual reflexes.  So I made a point to notice how often we hold hands today.  I am happy to say that we touch a lot.  A perk of attachment parenting.

Where am I going with all of this....  Well this past week has been full of emotions for my little family.  My husband and I have had to make a lot of very difficult decisions and I have shed many tears.  I am sure I still have many more to shed too-  In addition to all of the chaos we have been experiencing Baby has continued to grow and develop and learn.  She hit some milestones this week that offered brief escapes for me from my personal dramas.  They were almost right on cue too-  I would be dealing with something exceptionally tough and then BAM- "Holy cow look at what she can do!"

So as I hold on to the normalcy's of our organized life I paused while cleaning.  I realized that I get to see all of those little growing fingerprints all month long, and then at the start of the next month the slate is wiped clean.  A fresh palate for her to manipulate however she chooses.  That mirror has held her hand-prints from birth- If only I hadn't wiped them all away.

Today my mood is a little low.  Still trucking, just partly cloudy.