I'm Addicted

Because this is what I really want to write about...  I'm pretty sure if I were to tell a counselor, ANY counselor- financial counselor, career counselor, Madam V on the psychic hotline- about my attractions and feelings that I have for my baby they would very certainly let me know that I am an addict.  Probably in an unhealthy, 'you need to go to a methadone clinic,' kind of unhealthy.  I constantly find myself wondering how people manage having more than one kid... How people find enough love in their hearts to love ANYONE else :-)  My poor husband-

Current struggles include: balancing what I believe to be PPPD (post postpartum depression), loving my dogs, getting the laundry done (completely done), having any kind of adult conversation without thinking about my baby, I'm not even going to mention the long list with my relationship, and sleep.  Ahhhh sleep-

I've never really slept soundly without the aid of some form of natural supplement.  And now that I am EBF (exclusively breastfeeding) I can't ingest many things that I would have easily taken before.  I almost think that it's the BF'ing that has led to my addiction.  Who knows.  My baby is freaking awesome and that's all I care about!

In all seriousness though, this shit's hard!  Hopefully some day soon I will have a system in place that will make managing it all much easier.  I'm looking forward to the day where my anxiety level is reduced to anything under a 5 on a scale of 1-10.  But until then, I will 'attachment parent' the hell outta this kid!