I was a complete EFFING mess over the weekend! One thing I know to be a solid and important fact is that I require a pretty rigid routine, and anything other than that wreaks havoc on my mental state and the emotional welfare of those around me!
I haven't figured out how to have a weekend with my husband without going full-blown crazy. Roane and I do really well during the week with our schedules. Her naps are pretty consistent, she stays fairly happy, and I get shit done :-) And then the weekend hits. Daddy's home!!! He wants to be supportive and helpful, but it always turns into a constant nitpicking battle of, "I'm always right, and you're always wrong!" I don't mean to, but it happens.
I am day two into a "schedule" and it seems to be working pretty well. I don't have that "stomach in my throat" feeling and I'm thinking I can tolerate my husband's presence a little better than usual. After all, that is my ultimate goal. Maybe I am so consumed with insuring that my daughter gets raised in a more loving and safe environment than I was is actually adding the stress to the relationship more than I realize. Poor kid! I just hope she fairs well- being raised by a crazy bipolar mother and all!
I have a huge part of me that wants to be an asset to society- but right now beginning the puzzle, that is known as my home, is my focus... Now if I can just find all of the corners and side pieces ;-)
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