What?!

Warning: This post is not directed toward any one person- Just a generalization... Sort of-

You need to get her on a schedule...
You need to show her who is in charge...
You need to not hold her so much...
She needs to know she is okay without you...
She needs to sleep through the night...
YOU need to STFU!

Yes I just laid down next to my strange little thing to help her fall back asleep.  Nothing, and I mean absolutely NOTHING, has been normal lately.  I have started to doubt myself and the routines, or lack there of, that we have been implementing.  Just when things are going well she throws me for a loop and I start thinking I must be doing something wrong-  And all of the ^ people are right.  But then a day like today happens...  She must be going through a growth spurt or SOMETHING.  She's eating a lot and is very tired- Overtired in fact, to the point of delirium.  Those little red eyebrows tell a story.  So instead of questioning my competence as a parent, I am going to continue to listen to that little voice in the back of my lizard brain- AKA instinct ;-)  Hell, it may be my ego, but it feels so right.

And besides my biggest issue right now isn't her odd behavior-  She's happy & healthy and that is all that matters.  My biggest problem is AMMONIA in my diapers.  So as I scour the internet for the "end all" ammonia diaper treatment, and pout over a busted washing machine pump, I can't help but think this is exactly what I should be doing.  Responding to her needs and keeping her damn diapers clean!

How this will all affect my mental health?  I am not entirely sure.  I'm tired, slightly anxious, but hanging in there.